There are many forms of begging i.e. begging for mercy, begging for understanding, begging for help in cash or kind, begging to differ etc. I would really like to hear from you my friends what you think of begging, is it good or bad and why...lets talk about it.

Dear Rolle,

  I DO know what it's like to live with depression.  I am all too well aquainted with not wanting to wake up the next day.  With feeling disappointment at opening your eyes on a sunny afternoon.  Unfortunately, my life just sucks like that. 

  However, the ONLY reason I've not "relieved myself of suffering" is because I'm sure that suicide is not a legitimate excuse.  Everything happens for a reason, to teach us lessons.  I just assume I was Hitler in a past life, at this point, and continue carrying on being the best person I can despite everything.  Because I only think, damn, if it's this hard now while I've done nothing but be a nice and beautiful person my whole life, I can just imagine what kind of difficulties I'd run into on the other side of that back-door.

  I am sorry that I can't solve your problems.  I have STACK LOADS of them myself (a levy on my account at the moment and a tooth that is abcessed with no money, no insurance, nothing but pain and fear...).  I am sorry that you are hurting and scared.  I CAN offer you support and understanding though.  Also I will urge you to seek some psychotherapy.  Learning about depression from a professional, being able to recognize what's "normal" reaction and what is part of the chemical tidal-wave...sometimes we need a prescription to stop the drowning.  Anyway, I did it, the therapy thing, for years.  I was not able to find the magickal solution, my life still BLOWS, I still WISH I didn't wake up...BUT, I am not DROWNING every minute of each day.  I have had bouts of happiness.  Something that was just not possible when I was in a major depressive episode (pretty much how I spent the first 20 years of my life).  Things CAN get better, I'm not saying that they will, but if you keep yourself healthy, it is possible.  That's what I want to give you.  Hope.  That no matter WHAT HAPPENS, things CAN get better.  You can feel better.  But only if you make sure you don't get so chemically addicted to the depression.  So, LIS, if you have to, seek help at a mental health clinic.  For surely you will do no good for anyone as a zombie.

  I wish you the Light to go through Life with Love...and may it bless you.

I have made sure that my family won't inherit my mistakes.  It's amazing that the inablility to consolidate 65,000 in debt to a longer term so I can make the payments is making another possibilty viable.  I've exhausted every other possibility and now I think about how to fix it every day.  Every day I consider ending my life as a way to protect my family.  So yes I know how you feel.  I know the dark place that your are living in and I wish more than you know that I had some hope to offer.  Good luck to you.

I understand how my brother felt the night he died. Having nowhere to go and all your options exhausted. You feel the suffocation brought about by desperation. I will never condone what he had. He pulled the whole family into the mess that he created. If he only had the courage to admit to what he had done…there could have been a way out without his life being lost. If only.

I understand what he felt because I feel the pressure of facing the problems that he left. Sometimes my mind wanders into scenarios and options that normally I will never have considered. But then you realize, you are now worth more dead than alive. Who in their right mind will help you without getting something in return? I have offered our home as collateral so that we can survive as a family. Although it will take time, it is a secured loan.

However, until now no one has shown interest. What else do we have?  

It’s Christmas. We are spending it at home. We can not afford the luxury of going out. Actually what pains me, is seeing the expectation in a child’s eyes and having nothing to give. Every Christmas day, my mother prepared small gift packs for the less fortunate children in our community. This Christmas, she could not afford it.

Have you ever dreaded tomorrow? I often wish tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow we have to face the problems again and maybe new ones as well. As the minutes draw closer to the tomorrow, my depression increases. But wishing and praying for a better tomorrow is all we can do.

I have made some wrong choices and trusted someone I should have known better than to trust. But now, i'm about to lose everything I have including the most important thing "my husband".

If there is someone out there that would be willing to help; I would greatly appreciate it and arrange for FULL re-payment.

Please, I beg and pray some hears my cries. 

Sometimes fate can play cruel tricks. I often look back at how things could have turned out differently for me and my family if only I had decided differently.

ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY

I graduated with an Engineering degree in 1990 but was unable to take the board and practice when my father died just 2 months after. It was during this time that we learned of the debts that my father incurred in setting up our small family business which was at the time of its infancy. Even our house was mortgaged. To make things short, I ended up in the family business to do my share in helping settle the problems. However, at the back of my mind I hoped that one day I would be able to practice my degree when things get better. However, that was not the case.

Mismanagement by my eldest brother and a business venture to earn extra income that ultimately failed threatened to bankrupt us completely. It was during this time that I took the helm. We managed to secure a loan that was to be paid out in 7 years. It was short of what we needed but somehow we had to make do.

In the process of rebuilding our business I forgot to take care of myself and the stress took its toll on my body. I became diabetic and my health went downhill from there. I took pride in finally redeeming the deed to our house. Now very sick, I was forced to turn over the reigns of the business back to my eldest brother. Although the business still had a few problems, with the right moves it was on its way back to recovery.

This was a fatal mistake. Greed reared its ugly head and my eldest brother started to enrich himself. He demanded a salary for himself and even employed his wife as accountant in the business.

At the same time my body started to experience excruciating pain. I felt stiffness and loss of joint articulation all over my body. I was physically unable to get up let alone find work. Although I consulted numerous doctors and was under medication, it did very little to ease the pain and improve my condition. Sadly, my vision started to blur and soon I can only vaguely make out faces. Having no money, I stayed in this state for almost 2 years and went into depression.

A FLICKER OF HOPE

With the help and encouragement of my sisters together with a compassionate former schoolmate, now an eye surgeon, vision on one eye was restored. Although I had to wear reading glasses this tremendously helped in lifting up my spirits. Improvements in my diet and exercise brought slight relief in the pain and I was able to move (with a limp) about the house.

By chance, a writer for an e-learning company took notice and referred me to her boss. Their company was really looking for a writer, but she gambled on me even though she learned that I was sick and can only work at home. She took me under her wing and I started to write and illustrate storyboards. Soon I started to do simple flash illustrations and animations. After a few months, the company decided to employ me full-time. I was ecstatic and very thankful. I started earning some decent money and gained back my dignity. I decided to forget all the bad things that had happened and start my life from this point onwards.

ANOTHER TRAGEDY

I remember a phrase from Al Pacino in Godfather 3 which goes something like, "Just as I was about to get out, they pull me back right in.” My eldest brother died last April 16,2007. It was after his death that we learned of what he and his wife did to the business.

The company is $100,000 in debt! He and his wife used the company checks to secure unauthorized loans from different people. They even managed to mortgage our house without any of us knowing. People I did not know from Adam, started calling and coming to our house to demand payment. Nine days after his death, his wife took their kids and everything they own and left their rented apartment without informing us. She turned off her cellphone and left no forwarding address. Using what little records was left behind; I took it upon myself to find out what had happened.

The night before his death, he was still frantically calling and going to different people to secure loans. I guess the shame of being found out was too much and he suffered a heart attack.

Although we had our differences I deeply mourn my brother's death and wish things could've turned out differently. And yet we are left with the overwhelming fact that he mismanaged the business and are now faced with a tragic predicament.

My brother used company checks signed by my mother. He even tricked her to hand over the title of the house which he used to secure a loan. Ultimately, she is the one liable for all the bad checks my brother and his wife issued since they were all company checks. With nothing to mortgage, we can not secure a loan. All we have is our business and our commitment to help my mother. She is deeply religious and spends her time doing charity work for the church. She is already 66 years old and does not deserve to suffer. A life on the run or facing court is not the way she is supposed to spend her twilight years. Already, creditors have initiated steps to sue our company and our mother to recover their money.

WE NEED YOUR HELP - PLEASE

We need to secure a loan of $ 100,000 to pay off creditors. We are not seeking a hand-out. We can pay you back but it might take awhile. We still have the company and existing clients to generate income and pay back the loan. We have all agreed to help out our mother and exercise prudence in operating the company. I was the one in charge of the company when I was still paying off the initial mortgage of the house. If I can do it then, then I can do it now.

PLEASE to anyone willing to help, this is one family’s desperate plea for assistance. We promise we can pay off the loan and we are willing to send you details/information about the company and how we plan to pay the loan. God Bless You!

You can contact me for further details at amateur_artist07@yahoo.com.

You can also go to http://amateurartist07.angelfire.com/.

Dear Jeanie: Stop - do not lay out another cent. Read the warning page on how does aid page work. I do not know what state you are currently residing in but some have "displaced homemaker" retraining programs to enhance your employment opportunities. Some states also have special programs for people 55 and older seeking employment. If you haven't already, post your city and state of residence (ONLY!) on your profile. Also if you are not yet divorced, you can still file claim against assets. Many states have pro bono legal services to assist w/family matters. Please refer to aidmate Soulight's, Who~knew and Sierra Star's posted aidpages for resources, tips and advice. See the following links: Blessings, Elaine
Soulight
Who~Knew
Sierra Star

 Hello,  My name is Jeanie.  I am  57 years old, and at the very end of my emotional rope! I am out of money out of time, and out of options. I do not know where to turn!  God help me Please!!  I have been separated from my husband for over a year.  Since then I have held several jobs all of which were complete dead ends. My husband is a retired factory worker living on a very fixed income, and he is unable to support me financially outside of our marriage.
 When he retired from his job we moved South, and I gave up a full time job. I had to move from there back to my home state where I am originally from, because I could not afford to live in a separate residence in the South. Nor could either one of us afford to get a divorce, because we could not afford to pay lawyers.  I gave up my home, and  all rights to it because my husband had promised me that he would “help me out”,  NOT!!  I was naïve in assuming that he would. He had promised me that he would pay off my credit cards and give me a substantial part of what our home was worth. I was very stupid not to have obtained this in writing.  Needless to say he didn’t do what he promised. I moved back to my home state using credit I did not really have to use. 
 Once I had gotten settled I did obtain a good job, but I was seriously under qualified for it.  I accepted the job because I desperately needed an income at the time.  I lasted at that job for approx.. 5 months, and it was very it was a very stressful period trying to fit into a job that I did not have the experience for.  My employer finally let me go, with assurances that I would be able to get unemployment.  NOT!!  I did not qualify for unemployment because I did not make enough within a certain period, and because I had not worked long enough. Since then I have been working the odd jobs for a temp agency, but those odd jobs were few. 
 I come from an era where the wife stayed at home while the husband went out and earned a paycheck.  I would have worked outside our home, but my husband preferred me at home. I was a housewife and mother for many years and I do not regret those years.  My children are now grown and doing well in their own lives.  But because I stayed home and took care of my home and raised my children, I have not the “marketable” skills that would make it possible for me to obtain a good job and earn a comfortable living.  I also have several age related ailments, while not disabling, make it very difficult for me to work a full-time job outside my home.  I would love to get training in a marketable skill and develop a business, and work from my home. I could possibly obtain a grant, (impossible to get unless you hire someone),  or educational loan for training,….(govt. grants)……“this is also a huge money making machine for internet scammers!!!” 
 I am unable to hold down a full-time job and go to school at the same time. It is more than I can handle at my age, considering my current health situation.  I have a disease called, “cervical spondylosis”.  It is very painful and debilitating.  I also have bone spurs in the heels and pads of my feet, osteoarthritis, and a small tumor at the base of my brain. Thankfully this tumor is, as far as I know, benign.  I have been told by my doctor that I need to have yet another MRI, of which I have had many!  I can not afford it!   I tried to get help from a community organization called, “Volunteers In Medicine”, but …..again I do not qualify because I have to be completely uninsured. This is another reason I have not yet tried to obtain a divorce,  as long as I remain married, I am still under his insurance. 
 I am not a lazy person, I exercise and try to keep myself in shape, but I have been so severely depressed that some days I can not even function. I have scoured the internet in hopes of finding some kind of work at home, for an online job.  God help me!  Several months ago….as now,  I was so desperate for a way to make some money that I fell for an internet scam.  It was one of those “Nigerian” scams.  I was very stupid and very naïve, and very desperate.  Desperate people will do stupid stuff, as I well know.  As a result of that scam my bank account was wiped out, along with some of the banks money.  I tried everything to get help.  I called all the Federal offices I could think of.  Secret Service, CIA, FBI, etc., you name it and I called it.  No one would help me.  I understand how being involved might have made me look less than innocent, but I truly did not realize until it was too late.  I was an unknowing participant.  I have always been a very trusting individual and willing to believe that there are honest people in this world.  But, my trust has been betrayed time and again. Just a couple of weeks ago now I was talked into investing money I don’t even have on an internet business that I was promised would earn me quick money. I had one credit card with some credit left on it, now I have none!  Scammed again!!! I am sick to death of all the lies, and untruths that are flooding the internet!!  These people were very smooth and they know just what to say to have you believing them!!  How do these people sleep at night knowing what they do to people!!! I am not a dummy, just way too trusting.
 My trust in our Government to protect its American Citizens against fraud and other unscrupulous acts has been broken.  Our government officials and the politicians who are running this United States Government are all out for themselves, first and foremost.  They sit around giving themselves raises probably with our tax dollars, while people like me are lost in the shuffle of government bureaucracy. 
 Now I find myself in the position of having to beg someone to save me from living in the streets.  I have been living off credit for some months just to survive. Now my credit is shot and I can not obtain a loan, needless to say.  I do at least have a good vehicle, about the only thing I got from my marriage worth anything,  but even it is going to need maintenance soon.  I am praying for a miracle because I am all out of time and money.  I am tired and my spirit is broken, and I am very scared.  I have registered with 2 websites where folks are allowed to “beg for money”.  On one of them I have yet to receive any help, and the other site, I paid for the opportunity to tell my story, they took my money and never did publish the story!! I do at least have this computer and I have been working as a, “chat host”,  for a couple of internet sites. Basically chat hosting means stripping for money. It is NOT what I want to do, but was forced to do to survive!  I do not want to live this way!!! 
 Someone please help me to make my life worth living.  I just want a chance to be someone before its too late for me!!  I have rent due in 2 days, and I do not have the money to pay for it.  God help me!!  Please!!!  If anyone can find it in their heart to help me I know that it could change my life for the better!  Is there anyone out there who really cares????  If there is, please renew my faith, and I will get down on my knee’s and pray to God to bless you, and Thank You All!!!!!

Sincerely,
Jeanie